Worry

There's an old Vulcan saying (yes for those who don't know, I am a Trekker, and proud of it):
"Worry is illogical; it saps your strength. Concern, however can prepare one for the unexpected."

I admit, I am a worrier. I always have been. It's a part of my nature. The above lesson is one that has always been a difficult one for me to absorb. I know that worrying doesn't help, but I do it anyway, even when the result is that I feel sick about stuff I can do nothing about. I have learned not to worry about some things, but for the most part I still do when I encounter situations I am unprepared for. As I have stated previously, I don't deal with sudden change very well. I tend to want to run and hide under the covers like I did when I was a little kid who thought there were monsters under the bed. Sometimes I feel as though my brain simply shuts down and I just don't know what to do.

The thing that inspired this post is that tomorrow I have to begin to solo on the phones at work. I know that we have been well trained, that we have everything we need to trouble shoot and problem solve right there in front of us, and if we need to, we can always ask for help from a supervisor or from another agent. But I'm still worried. What if I screw up and say something really stupid to a customer? I know from talking to other agents, some of whom have been there only a few months longer than I have, that this is perfectly natural. Some of them have been there for only 3 or 4 months, but if you listen to them when they're in a call, you'd think they have been doing this for years. So while I know intellectually that I'll be OK, I still have some major nerves about tomorrow. Our trainer told us the other day that she spent most of her first solo day feeling sick to her stomach over having to go it alone, even though she knew she wasn't alone. I have a feeling I'm not going to sleep very well tonight.

But I know that I'll be OK.

Eventually.


Be well,

-J