It's funny how we are always so busy these days. We're too busy to cook a proper meal for our families, so we stop at fast food joints, or we shop at the big box stores where we can buy ready to heat meals that give us time to call the office or check our email while we wait. We are to busy to pay attention when we drive because we have to be on the phone all the time. Or we have to put on our makeup. Or we have to finish eating on the way back to work. What I wonder is where we think we're getting all this time? Or what we would do with it if we had it.
I find this funny because I have been wondering where I'm going to get the time to start working on a coat I want to make. And I don't just want to make a coat, but I want to TAILOR a coat. That means a lot more work. I have been reviewing my tailoring techniques lately and there is quite a bit I haven't done in a while. Especially the hand sewing. But I want it to be special. It has to work for both cosplay and for general wear. And so on. . .
Now the thing that makes this funny is the fact that I got up this morning and watched a little TV while I had coffee. Then I re-arranged a room, did a couple of loads of laundry, went to the mall and picked up a notebook, some sharpie markers, and a roll of brown paper for patterns. After that, I went for smokes, got some groceries, stopped by a friends place and still managed to be home by 3:45pm. My point is there really are enough hours in the day if you need there to be. We have become so obsessed with time that we don't realize we have the time. Imagine if you had to get along for a week without your cell phone, or computer, or Tivo, or whatever. Ask most people on the street and they'd tell you that there is no way they could survive a day let alone a week. And I have to wonder how these same people got along before everybody had a cell phone or a computer.
I suppose that this post is really about getting along with what you have and finding a way to be happy with it and not worrying (there's that word again) that you're missing out on something. If you are the universe will find a way to let you know. And it will usually find a way for you to get it.
What the world really needs is for people to slow down and take the time to stop and smell the roses.
Cause they really do smell nice. . .
Be well.
Pagan Forge
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
On Moving
Moving is a pain in the ass. There I've said it. Everyone I know hates doing it. We groan and moan about getting everything packed, fitting our stuff (see George Carlin,) into boxes that never seem to be the right size, getting them to stay closed after we over fill them, trying to find enough small ones for the heavy books we insist on carrying with us even if it's been 10 years since we've read them, and. . .the list goes on. And what's even worse is the purge; how do you sit down and look at the contents of your life and decide what you don't need anymore? And what do you do about it? Books and clothes, well that's easy. If you didn't even remember that you owned it, or if it's been 2 or more years since you've worn it, get rid of it. Donate books to a yard, (or better yet - library) sale. Clothes can go to your local charity drop off. Now bear in mind that these procedures are easier for some that for others. Myself, I love to read and I love to sew, so I have trouble getting rid of books, because I might reread them, and clothes, because I might decide to remake them into something new. (For the record I haven't actually done this in, well a long time. So off to the charity drop they went.)
Then there's the kitchen (for most people anyway - if you know me you'll understand). Few things are more annoying to pack than dishes, pots, and pans. No matter how well you wrap the dishes, you have worry that they might get scratched or broken. The pots and pans never fit properly into the boxes, even if they are the same boxes they came in. If you have a lot of small appliances then you have to hope you still have the original boxes and packing material. It's always easier to pack smaller boxes in bigger ones because at least they're all the same general shape.
Finally there's the all important question of, "Do I do this myself - with the help of friends of course, or do I hire someone to do all this shit for me?" As much as it can be a pain in the ass to do it yourself, I always choose this option. I'm just not comfortable having a total stranger getting their hands on my shit. And frankly, this amazes me; it's not like I'm afraid of it being stolen by the movers, or like I'm ashamed of my stuff. A few years ago I might have been, but not now. It's just stuff, which means it isn't really all that important. And as for being ashamed, well in the last 5 years or so I've discovered something fundamental about myself - I have no shame. I no longer give a shit what people think the way I used to. So if the movers, or as was the case on my last move 6 weeks ago, the landlord happens to get his hands on my sex toys, well good on him. As long as I get them back, clean, who cares!
So in the end it's really not the Great Big Fucking Deal that we always make it out to be. It's just a pain in the ass. Personally I have no plans to be doing this again for a while (Thanks D). As it is it's probably going to take me another month to get settled, but that's OK, I can deal. The upside is I have a roommate I trust, a great friend right upstairs, & I'm downtown again. Thank Gods!
Be well,
-Jamie
Then there's the kitchen (for most people anyway - if you know me you'll understand). Few things are more annoying to pack than dishes, pots, and pans. No matter how well you wrap the dishes, you have worry that they might get scratched or broken. The pots and pans never fit properly into the boxes, even if they are the same boxes they came in. If you have a lot of small appliances then you have to hope you still have the original boxes and packing material. It's always easier to pack smaller boxes in bigger ones because at least they're all the same general shape.
Finally there's the all important question of, "Do I do this myself - with the help of friends of course, or do I hire someone to do all this shit for me?" As much as it can be a pain in the ass to do it yourself, I always choose this option. I'm just not comfortable having a total stranger getting their hands on my shit. And frankly, this amazes me; it's not like I'm afraid of it being stolen by the movers, or like I'm ashamed of my stuff. A few years ago I might have been, but not now. It's just stuff, which means it isn't really all that important. And as for being ashamed, well in the last 5 years or so I've discovered something fundamental about myself - I have no shame. I no longer give a shit what people think the way I used to. So if the movers, or as was the case on my last move 6 weeks ago, the landlord happens to get his hands on my sex toys, well good on him. As long as I get them back, clean, who cares!
So in the end it's really not the Great Big Fucking Deal that we always make it out to be. It's just a pain in the ass. Personally I have no plans to be doing this again for a while (Thanks D). As it is it's probably going to take me another month to get settled, but that's OK, I can deal. The upside is I have a roommate I trust, a great friend right upstairs, & I'm downtown again. Thank Gods!
Be well,
-Jamie
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Worry
There's an old Vulcan saying (yes for those who don't know, I am a Trekker, and proud of it):
"Worry is illogical; it saps your strength. Concern, however can prepare one for the unexpected."
I admit, I am a worrier. I always have been. It's a part of my nature. The above lesson is one that has always been a difficult one for me to absorb. I know that worrying doesn't help, but I do it anyway, even when the result is that I feel sick about stuff I can do nothing about. I have learned not to worry about some things, but for the most part I still do when I encounter situations I am unprepared for. As I have stated previously, I don't deal with sudden change very well. I tend to want to run and hide under the covers like I did when I was a little kid who thought there were monsters under the bed. Sometimes I feel as though my brain simply shuts down and I just don't know what to do.
The thing that inspired this post is that tomorrow I have to begin to solo on the phones at work. I know that we have been well trained, that we have everything we need to trouble shoot and problem solve right there in front of us, and if we need to, we can always ask for help from a supervisor or from another agent. But I'm still worried. What if I screw up and say something really stupid to a customer? I know from talking to other agents, some of whom have been there only a few months longer than I have, that this is perfectly natural. Some of them have been there for only 3 or 4 months, but if you listen to them when they're in a call, you'd think they have been doing this for years. So while I know intellectually that I'll be OK, I still have some major nerves about tomorrow. Our trainer told us the other day that she spent most of her first solo day feeling sick to her stomach over having to go it alone, even though she knew she wasn't alone. I have a feeling I'm not going to sleep very well tonight.
But I know that I'll be OK.
Eventually.
Be well,
-J
"Worry is illogical; it saps your strength. Concern, however can prepare one for the unexpected."
I admit, I am a worrier. I always have been. It's a part of my nature. The above lesson is one that has always been a difficult one for me to absorb. I know that worrying doesn't help, but I do it anyway, even when the result is that I feel sick about stuff I can do nothing about. I have learned not to worry about some things, but for the most part I still do when I encounter situations I am unprepared for. As I have stated previously, I don't deal with sudden change very well. I tend to want to run and hide under the covers like I did when I was a little kid who thought there were monsters under the bed. Sometimes I feel as though my brain simply shuts down and I just don't know what to do.
The thing that inspired this post is that tomorrow I have to begin to solo on the phones at work. I know that we have been well trained, that we have everything we need to trouble shoot and problem solve right there in front of us, and if we need to, we can always ask for help from a supervisor or from another agent. But I'm still worried. What if I screw up and say something really stupid to a customer? I know from talking to other agents, some of whom have been there only a few months longer than I have, that this is perfectly natural. Some of them have been there for only 3 or 4 months, but if you listen to them when they're in a call, you'd think they have been doing this for years. So while I know intellectually that I'll be OK, I still have some major nerves about tomorrow. Our trainer told us the other day that she spent most of her first solo day feeling sick to her stomach over having to go it alone, even though she knew she wasn't alone. I have a feeling I'm not going to sleep very well tonight.
But I know that I'll be OK.
Eventually.
Be well,
-J
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Heath Ledger R.I.P.
Heath Ledger is dead.
I must admit I was floored when I heard that on the news. He was only 28 years old. Rest in Peace Heath.
The thing I find that bothers me the most about this is not the fact of his death. Everybody dies when their tasks on this Earth are done. It is not for us to decide whether that death is too soon or not. I accepted the fact of my own death a long time ago, and well frankly, I've been dead before.
No, what bothers be the most is the way the media have glommed onto this and are doing what they always do. . .trying to pull a rating. As though that is more important than the fact that a talented young actor has died. Never mind the details. It's nobody's business how he died, or why. But the public has in the last 10 years or so, gotten the idea into it's collective head that they have a Right To Know.
Listen up people: Just because a person is a celebrity in the public eye, does not mean that we the public have a right of any kind to have a look into their private lives, unless they specifically invite us. People like Perez Hilton, who think it's OK to out celebrities, (it's NOT) have to take a serious look at the details of their own lives and ask themselves if they would enjoy the same level of scrutiny on them 24/7.
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'm going to bed.
Heath,
Eternal rest grant unto him. May perpetual Light shine upon him.
(Wayist Blessing)
Be Well,
-J
I must admit I was floored when I heard that on the news. He was only 28 years old. Rest in Peace Heath.
The thing I find that bothers me the most about this is not the fact of his death. Everybody dies when their tasks on this Earth are done. It is not for us to decide whether that death is too soon or not. I accepted the fact of my own death a long time ago, and well frankly, I've been dead before.
No, what bothers be the most is the way the media have glommed onto this and are doing what they always do. . .trying to pull a rating. As though that is more important than the fact that a talented young actor has died. Never mind the details. It's nobody's business how he died, or why. But the public has in the last 10 years or so, gotten the idea into it's collective head that they have a Right To Know.
Listen up people: Just because a person is a celebrity in the public eye, does not mean that we the public have a right of any kind to have a look into their private lives, unless they specifically invite us. People like Perez Hilton, who think it's OK to out celebrities, (it's NOT) have to take a serious look at the details of their own lives and ask themselves if they would enjoy the same level of scrutiny on them 24/7.
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'm going to bed.
Heath,
Eternal rest grant unto him. May perpetual Light shine upon him.
(Wayist Blessing)
Be Well,
-J
Monday, January 21, 2008
Beginnings
from Dune by Frank Herbert:
"The beginning is a very delicate time"
Somehow that seems appropriate to the start of this year. At the end of the previous one I found myself without a job and having to move out of my apartment suddenly. I'm a Cancer. That means I don't like change, and sudden change is like having my own personal a-bomb going off. I'll admit that at first I was lost. I had no idea what I was going to do. I felt like the world was crumbling around me. I cried a few times, ranted and raged a bit, and still felt no better.
Finally I got my shit together, at what seemed like the last minute, and started to plan out the beginning of my new life. I found new living quarters (the first priority), and then got word that I got the job I wanted.
Now I feel that the world did me a favour. I had to shake myself out of the (very) deep blue funk I had been in for, well longer than I can remember, and I am starting to feel stronger as a result. I am, as a close friend puts it, 'emotionally reconnecting' to the rest of the world and the people in it.
For this, as in all things, I thank the Divine.
Be well,
-J
"The beginning is a very delicate time"
Somehow that seems appropriate to the start of this year. At the end of the previous one I found myself without a job and having to move out of my apartment suddenly. I'm a Cancer. That means I don't like change, and sudden change is like having my own personal a-bomb going off. I'll admit that at first I was lost. I had no idea what I was going to do. I felt like the world was crumbling around me. I cried a few times, ranted and raged a bit, and still felt no better.
Finally I got my shit together, at what seemed like the last minute, and started to plan out the beginning of my new life. I found new living quarters (the first priority), and then got word that I got the job I wanted.
Now I feel that the world did me a favour. I had to shake myself out of the (very) deep blue funk I had been in for, well longer than I can remember, and I am starting to feel stronger as a result. I am, as a close friend puts it, 'emotionally reconnecting' to the rest of the world and the people in it.
For this, as in all things, I thank the Divine.
Be well,
-J
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